Now, don’t get us wrong. Cheating is a big deal. If you have cheated you deserve all the names, slurs, and furniture being thrown your way, Hell, you probably know that and would prefer a quick, sharp shock of the argument to long-drawn out consequences that are to come. There is always fallout from cheating and it is a necessary part of dealing with the dishonesty and lack of respect that the cheater has shown.But a few myths have been built up around cheating that make people presume that it is both inevitable and automatically disastrous for the relationship. This is not so. While no relationship is 100% secure from cheating, it is a far from inevitable part of monogamy. In addition, it is perfectly possible for a relationship to survive an affair. Both of these myths come down to honesty in the relationship, as does the third, but in the opposite way…
Guys Being Guys
Myth No.1 of the cheating world is that its just guys being guys. This can be read as both a defense and an indictment of cheating. Some use it to say that, well, guys are just being guys and expecting them not to cheat is like expecting a dog not to go for a bone. Therefore they should get a pass because it is on the genes. This is the myth that is often trotted out by the Men’s Rights groups, who want to excuse all terrible male behavior. But what about all the men who love their wives or their girlfriends, who can look but do not have to touch, and are happy and comfortable at home. Some men do cheat, and they will blame it on biology, but this is just an excuse for their own bad choices.Alternatively, this concept is sometimes used by women to show how all men are terrible. Again, this doesn’t take into account the good guys, in healthy relationships that do not feel the need to stray. It is never about ‘guys being guys’, but always about the individual situation. If you find yourself thinking about cheating, do not use this as an excuse, because that is all it is. Take responsibility for your own behavior.
Say Sayonara To Your Relationship
The second biggest myth in cheating is that, once you have cheated then it means that your relationship is definitely over. Again, this does not necessarily have to be the truth. Sure, it can be a devastating blow to the relationship, but whether it is the end of the relationship depends far more on what comes after than the actually act itself. First of all, you have to be honest (though see No. 3). If the other person finds out by accident, or worse, through someone else, then that is likely to end the relationship. The keyword here is trust. After a cheating incident, the other person will have a difficult time trusting you and it is that trust, or lack thereof, that is the real killer in the relationship. If you come clean and ask for forgiveness then you stand a better chance than if they find out be accident. Once it is out in the open, then the dissection can begin. At this point again it is important to be completely truthful about why the cheating occurred. Were you bored? Was it just a fling, or did you have feelings for the other person? Have you fallen out of love with your partner? All of these are the type of questions that get raised in the post-mortem of an affair, and it is important that you are honest about the answers to all of them. When you work out why you had an affair and what might be wrong in your current relationship, you can look to rebuild the relationship and make sure that it doesn’t happen every again.
Honesty Is The Best Policy
This is probably the biggest myth when it comes to cheating. Everyone, including myself above, will tell you that you have to come clean out an affair. But what if it was a drunken hookup that will never happen again, a last dalliance with a long-lost lover, or just a moment of madness. If it was more hormones taking over your body and just impulse then you might not need to go soul-searching.